the fear of swimming

When I am sad, I think about his smile,

and I think about how small and safe

I feel in his arms.  I think about his eyes,

and how I lose myself swimming in them,

despite how scared I am of swimming.

Perhaps, every time I look in his eyes,

and swim deep into his soul, I lose

the fear of swimming into the deep ends.

The deepest part of him if where I want

to lose myself. It is where I know I can be me

without any fear or rejection.

It is where I can find myself and seek solace

in his arms, that are always pulling me close to him,

away from the floods of the world around us.

It is where my fears are not ridiculed, and it

is where I can learn to grow and blossom.

If I am scared, he will rescue me from the waters,

and keep me close to him, reminding me that it's okay

to be afraid of swimming.  I will learn once more

to swim confidently, and save myself if I

begin to drown. When I am sad, I think about

how he loves me always and how the feel

of him embracing me makes me feel safe and loved.

I think about his eyes and his smile, and how 

one day I will swim with him forever,

and I will no longer be afraid, and I will grow in his love.

-LJ

3 July 2018
(a ramble poem, but
a free-verse nonetheless,
I suppose)