A Conversation (With My Inner Child)

When you grow up, years from now, will you still sing and dance?
Will you face the world in timidness, or will you give it a chance?
Will you sleep as peaceful as you once did, although very lightly?
Will your imagination linger on, or will it shine so brightly?
Will green still be your favorite color? Will there be things from me you keep?
Will plush toys still be around you? Will lullabies still help you sleep?
Can I still be in your life, as the will to work and play?
Can I be the sunshine that lightens gloomy days?
Can I be the need to be tucked and held?
Can I be the one thing you never have to sell?
When you all grown, will someone love you very much?
Please don't let them break your heart and hurt you as such.
I promise I won't get in the way, but I will still be here.
I'll keep you safe, I really will, as long as you keep me near.
(my inner child asks innocently).

 ~

Dear Child, I am still growing up, with lots of song, not much dance.

I still face the world in timidness, but I give new things a chance.

I don't sleep as peacefully as I once did, and still sleep very lightly.

My imagination lingers on; through poems, it shines so brightly.

Purple is my favorite color, although I can't choose just one,

from you, I keep a drawing of the city and the sun.

I still love plush toys deeply, from you, some I do keep.

And yes, lullabies still very much help me fall asleep. 

I know it seems a little weird, growing up with me.

But there is so much to learn, so much to hear, so much to see.

You are my will to play, and into work, bring fun.

You are my will to want to learn to walk and run.

You are my desire to be tucked and loved and held,

and you are a cherished part of me that I can never sell.

I haven't found a someone who will love me very true,

and I will not let them hurt me, for they will hurt you, too.

You are safe, in my heart, for as long as I'm alive.

We will take the world together, with one another to survive.

(I answer my inner child confidently).

-LJ

23 March 2016

(Searching) For Answers

I wanted to know (why),

but I didn't know (how).

I wondered (where),

but I didn't know (when).

I knew (who),

but I didn't know (what).

(You see,) the world, (is)

a (rocky) place,

with (wonderful) things

so magnificent (and loving),

with (frightening) things

so heartbreaking (and upsetting). 

I searched (near and far)

for answers (that lingered inside my mind),

that I could feel (somewhat)

accepting towards (confidently).

(Had) I finally realized

(that) the answers lied

(there,) deep within my soul,

(and) the questions (of my heart)

(suddenly) falling away into the abyss(.)(?)

(Could I?)  I could go on,

(and) I could live.

-LJ

23 March 2016

The Dance We Dreamed

We dreamed a dance, a song,

much bigger than ourselves.

We were so small, and

the world was so big, 

and colorful, and... dark.

We dreamed a dance that 

soon we could not fathom,

and the dance would be forgotten,

and we couldn't even remember the tune

in which the rhythm waltzed with.

We dreamed a dance, a song

that soon replaced the dream we dreamed.

We felt so small, in this big world,

and now the world is small and

we have gotten bigger.

I never wanted to forget.

I never wanted to forget the way

the world around me shimmered with vibrant shades,

and the way that music sounded as lovely as a masquerade,

and how everything was something new to explore.

I never wanted to forget

the song I sang, nor

the dance I dreamed...

the world, a beautiful ballet.

-LJ

15 March 2016

I saw flowers,

I saw flowers, pretty flowers they were.

Through the blanket of snow,

their colors bring vibrant beauty,

and loving thoughts to my soul.

The flowers were shy, they were.

Poking bud by bud, petal by petal,

their grace spoke meaningfully

and touched my hands.

They captured the tears, the flowers, they did.

Every empty feeling inside,

every tear of blame, and feeling so ashamed,

they embraced what emotion I had.

They taught me, the flowers, they did.

A lesson of looks deceiving;

they were a beacon of comfort,

but some had thorns that stung the heart,

but could hardly be seen underneath a veil of many colors.

The flowers were beautiful, the flowers they were,

and they adorned my head gently,

and reminded me of a time of innocence,

as if my head was being gently stroked

and the flowers' fragrance, relaxing,

and their dance in the gentle breeze,

as if a lullaby for a bustling mind as mine.

They grew around me, and I closed my eyes.

-LJ

10 & 14 March 2016

It Must Be Coming

Is it here? It appears

that now the time is taken.

Every flower, with great power

begins to awaken.

It must be coming; Winter's running

very far away

and with it, bringing a brighter,

vibrant kind of day.

Placid winds, and rain-clouds bend

the bluer skies above;

trees re-birthed, birds there perched

singing of sweet love.

Spring is come, Winter's gone,

Summer, Autumn plan their stays.

Beauty, flower, bird, and shower,

paint Spring's ever lovely days.

-LJ

12 & 13 March 2016

Last Night's Dream

Last night, I had a dream

in which the part I'd play

would leave me mostly cowering 

and screaming in dismay.

The world in my dream was a frightening place

where everyone was mean,

and offensive names and actions were used,

and no one cared, it seemed.

But how could I have dreamed this world

in which its people hurt me,

and how could I not realize

that this was just reality?

For I knew they never cared,

and they knew that I could tell,

for my panic was their Heaven,

my panic was my Hell.

Although their slur and bigotry

was not aimed at me,

I could not seem to find the strength 

to be rid of these things.

Before the fighting all began,

I ran so far away, up

the halls, down to the basement,

where comfort came and the end abrupt.

-LJ

11 March 2016

The Forest Trail

For the trail within the forest

began to take most beautiful Autumn hues;

for leaves of green turn red and gold

and skies turn different shades of blue.

For today will finally be the day

I let myself be free,

of Summer's humid atmosphere,

and find myself in me.

For blesséd is the forest here;

a work of God's creations!

For this, a place for one to find peace
from Summer's many explorations.

For wondrous is the forest here

that I feel very much alive;

a place where dreams of gold,

and passions red, and
cool healing blues shall strive.

For the trail within the forest

of reds and golds and blues,

that free me from Summer's heat

and let me search for you.

I sense that Autumn's somewhere,

and I will find it so.

And when I find it, lovely one,

I promise you will know! 

-LJ

8 & 10 March 2016

The Sensation of Panic

What sensation causes thee

locking, clicking of the knees?

For long, the chattering voices stop

to make the locking knees just pop.

What sensation causes such

for rushing blood and moving much?

For then, lightheaded and to blame

in what I feel to be self-shame.

What sensation causes fear

to love me so and bring it here?

For once, it holds me in my place

and leaves all color without a trace.

What sensation causes me

to gaze up on and lock my knees?

For what my body, mind, and soul,

flood the thoughts of being whole.

What sensation causes this

opposition of all bliss?

For my attention, and intention, 

 innocent in disposition

causes this sensation manic,

causes much my soul to panic.

-LJ

6 March 2016

Moonlight

Dearest Moon,

Sweet lover of the stars, sibling of the sun,

and best friend of Mother Earth;

in our presence, rejoice and sing

and welcome wondrous mirth.

Fearlessly, your light caresses

sky in sparkling, cloud-like dresses;

sometimes showing smallest light

or biggest in more darker nights.

Quiet mover of the tides,

where frightened kindred spirits hide,

and seek comfort from your grace

to find their home, their place.

Sweetest to the stars, gracious to the sun,

and best friend to Mother Earth,

it is your journey in the great night sky

that welcomes all world's worth.

Blesséd Moon, watching all that roam,

Your beauty so inimitable, finds me all alone.

Your light brings so much comfort,

your guidance shows me home.

For morning comes, and brings the day;

you welcome Sunlight, but you stay...

for only a while before you part from sight,

to return when Sunlight slowly fades to night.

-LJ

5 March 2016

Sunshine

Somewhere near, somewhere far,

somewhere close to where you are;

hiding, resting, deep within the clouds.

Eyes open wide, new days have come,

blinded 'wake by rays you've done;

you begin your slow, yet welcoming rise.

As time ages fast the day,

somewhere, with the clouds away,

you are there, rising, high above all things.

While I am stumbling on,

and the will to move is gone,

you are falling, slowly, deep within horizons.

Blesséd light, brightest star,

wondering where on Earth you are;

even when you are not there, somehow you are everywhere.

Somewhere close, and in the night

making moons full and bright,

you are the comfort, healing, and shining light.

Blesséd be the Sunshine.

-LJ

4 March 2016

Beauty Evermore

Beauty in its primal state

takes its final twist of fate.

Sunken eyes of sheer despair

and lifeless curls of living hair.

Sometimes beauty, hardly seen

is sometimes beauty evergreen.

And when all failed to realize

that beauty found in sunken eyes

was beauty evermore.

-LJ

13 February 2016

Yes, we could wait, we could,

for that moment in which
the ears hear all sound, muffle it, and drive it away.
for that moment in which
the mouth tastes all things, indulges, and carries on.
for that moment in which
the hands touch all surfaces, yearns, and brushes through.
for that moment in which
the nose smells all fragrances, wonders, and congests.
for that moment in which
the fire in our eyes diminishes,
and requires the air in our lungs to ignite.

but, for the moment in which
the passion in our hearts arise,
and the creative nature of our brains
begin to ponder how we even got here,
in this time, in this moment,
with all of these beautiful senses,
waiting.

just waiting.

in this moment, and only in this moment,
the wait is over.
the world is reborn, and we are alive again.

-LJ
4 March 2016