The Red Flags

[TW// depression]

The first red flag,

was that I stopped brushing my hair.

Instead of getting dressed for the day,

I'd get dressed for the night, slither under blankets,

to listen to cold voices in my ears will me

into a bliss I could not feel.

The second red flag,

was that I'd rather stay in bed.

Instead of the readiness to tackle the day,

I'd lay there while time crawled by

as quickly as a snail, knowing

I'd have to get up eventually.

The third red flag,

was that I could not focus. 

Instead of being on top of my game,

I'd ask you to repeat the question,

the direction, the instruction, the story,

and I would feel like I was incapable

of doing my job.

The final red flag

was that I wanted to disappear.

Instead of wanting to shine,

I'd want to play with the thoughts

that filled my head with "maybe things,

maybe things would be better 

if I weren't around."

-LJ

started: 29 November 
continued: 03 December 2017
completed: 1 January 2018