"I don't know," I said.

I don't know, I said.

A burning ache throughout my body

rages, and desires,

for something more than the solitude of myself.

But, to exert such force from my body

is exhausting,

and I must rest, and remind me to take care of myself.

I don't know, I said. 

A still-shot framed photo of what could be,

silences, and echoes

from the surface of scarred skin long-gone.

But, I allowed myself to fall in your arms,

fatigued and loathing

the reflection I saw from normal, kaleidoscope mirrors.

I just don't know, I said.

Immense pain and guilt crowned me,

undeserving and unworthy

of any love or purpose here.

But, one night, God spoke something,

peaceful and fulfilling,

and He gave me the strength to begin to break free.

-LJ

30 December 2016