If, Like Michael,

If, like Michael,

I ever found myself in need

of something to protect my lungs

from the polluted air around me,

and if, like Michael,

I ever found myself in need

of something to protect my innocence

from the tainted world that surrounds me,

I would, like Michael,

hide away in the only place

that was safe, sound, and clean,

away from the flashing lights and screams,

where only one could say they found me.

If, like Michael,

I ever sought my poems from the Heavens,

I ever sang and danced until I cried,

I ever lived in fear until I died;

I'd seek my solace in the sun and moon and clouds,

I'd climb up in the highest tree,

and ask my God and Michael to sit with me. 

-LJ

25 January 2018

Breathing

It was last night,

when I felt you holding me,

in the way I always loathed.

It was this morning,

when I felt suspended,

without breath, fully cloaked

in your "grace",
heart racing,
head shaking;

 you proclaimed:

"I am 

the one who takes

your life away.

I am 

the one who causes

your thoughts to stray.

If 

I hold you too tightly,

will you

still be with me?

If 

I hold you too tightly,

will you

still be breathing?

If you

 are not breathing,

then who

 is breathing for you?"

-lj

23 January 2018
(italicized/bold text penned by j.m.)

The Red Flags

[TW// depression]

The first red flag,

was that I stopped brushing my hair.

Instead of getting dressed for the day,

I'd get dressed for the night, slither under blankets,

to listen to cold voices in my ears will me

into a bliss I could not feel.

The second red flag,

was that I'd rather stay in bed.

Instead of the readiness to tackle the day,

I'd lay there while time crawled by

as quickly as a snail, knowing

I'd have to get up eventually.

The third red flag,

was that I could not focus. 

Instead of being on top of my game,

I'd ask you to repeat the question,

the direction, the instruction, the story,

and I would feel like I was incapable

of doing my job.

The final red flag

was that I wanted to disappear.

Instead of wanting to shine,

I'd want to play with the thoughts

that filled my head with "maybe things,

maybe things would be better 

if I weren't around."

-LJ

started: 29 November 
continued: 03 December 2017
completed: 1 January 2018

new years resolutions

to be kinder not only to myself,

but to every new friend I make,

to be kinder to those I already know,

and to those I know not as of yet,

to take better care of not only myself,

but to take care of those who seek comfort,

to take better care of my family,

and to help more of those in need,

to know it is okay to be myself,

but to make sure I do not hurt,

to know it is okay to be true to who you are,

and to help others see the same.

-LJ

1 January 2018

cough

cough. cough. cough.
cough cough-- hack! cough cough.
hack hack gag cough cough.
mucus.  mucus.  cough gag mucus.
eww.

-lj
29 december 2017

I Cry Too Much

A small list of things I cry at
because they're just so full of
emotions I sometimes forget
I am capable of feeling:
             I am allowed to feel these emotions. I am allowed
             to be overwhelmed by great happiness and heavy sadness.

A small list of things I cry at
because they're just so full of
adventures I sometimes forget
I haven't been on:
              I am allowed to explore these new places
              without limit, without regulations, without worry.

A small list of things I cry at
because they're just so full of
wonder I sometimes forget
I hold on to:
               I am allowed to wonder, wander, and be amazed
               at the little things, the big things, and the gifts of the world.

A small list of things I cry at
because they're just so full of
kindness I sometimes forget
I have inside me:
              I am allowed to give to others, and to myself, because
              even though I am kind to others, I am not kind to myself.

A small list of things I cry at
because they're just so full of
expressions I sometimes forget
I can convey here:
               I am allowed to write about everything that ails me,
               that blesses me, that bothers me, that makes me...

A list of things I can feel,
because I am just so full of
emotion, adventure, wonder,
kindness, and expression,
that I sometimes forget
I have within me:
                I am allowed the experience of life, with its many splendors.
                It makes me who I am.

-LJ

17 December 2017

An Update Is Available

An update is available,

and is ready to be installed!

This update comes with new features,

such as the ability to cope in a healthy way,

fight off negative thoughts, and

help you to get motivated for your day.

Press "install now" to install,

or, if you're busy, 

you can reschedule your update

for a later time.

However, we do not recommend

that you wait, for you will risk

being attacked by viruses

that will irreversibly and ultimately

 harm your system.

Update installing.

Please wait...

Update installed.

Please restart your system.

-lj

08 December 2017