fragment 2

writer's block

chores here

chores there

sleep a lot

sleep just a little

have nightmares

have daydreams

think 

think

think.

promotion

responsibilities

credit

anxiety

did I set the alarm

did I count this right

too many cars over six

seven

no, six.

touching him

loving him

sweet whispers

looking up

chest visible

hands on him

hands on me

affection

i'm in love

in love

in love.

no time

creativity

lullabies

puppetry

poetry

wondrous things

marvelous things

hot things

cold things

cold outside

cold inside

I am small

I am fragile

I am cold

I am sleepy

I am yearning

I am 

I am

I am

holding on

holding

hold me

hold me

hold me

I am learning
I am brave
I am singing
I am creating
I am
I am
I am

battery dead.

recharge.

battery dead.

recharge.

battery half.

change battery.

battery not detected.

-lj

9/nov/2018

I Hear He's Come To Take You Home

I hear He's come to take you home
to Heaven up above,
and when you leave this Earthly world
you shall only feel love.

I feel He knows your faith was one
that couldn't be compared,
and knew that you lived your life
on His word being shared.

I know He's come to bring you to
the place where you belong,
and while up there I know you will
be dancing, singing songs...

I hear He's come to take you home,
and though it brings me pain,
I can find peace in knowing
that we will see each other again.

-LJ
05 December 2018

poem 30

"Sometimes when I'm sad, or very very mad,
I sometimes hold your hand, and I work on being glad.
I think of when you hold me, and tell me it's okay,
that I can say and think and feel whatever that I may.
I love you like the sun and the moon, and the day and the night,
and I love you when you're down, until you feel all right."

-lj

oct. 2018

the fear of swimming

When I am sad, I think about his smile,

and I think about how small and safe

I feel in his arms.  I think about his eyes,

and how I lose myself swimming in them,

despite how scared I am of swimming.

Perhaps, every time I look in his eyes,

and swim deep into his soul, I lose

the fear of swimming into the deep ends.

The deepest part of him if where I want

to lose myself. It is where I know I can be me

without any fear or rejection.

It is where I can find myself and seek solace

in his arms, that are always pulling me close to him,

away from the floods of the world around us.

It is where my fears are not ridiculed, and it

is where I can learn to grow and blossom.

If I am scared, he will rescue me from the waters,

and keep me close to him, reminding me that it's okay

to be afraid of swimming.  I will learn once more

to swim confidently, and save myself if I

begin to drown. When I am sad, I think about

how he loves me always and how the feel

of him embracing me makes me feel safe and loved.

I think about his eyes and his smile, and how 

one day I will swim with him forever,

and I will no longer be afraid, and I will grow in his love.

-LJ

3 July 2018
(a ramble poem, but
a free-verse nonetheless,
I suppose)

It Was Gone

At the moment I thought I had it,

it was gone.

At the moment I thought I heard it,

it was silenced.

At the moment I thought I touched it,

it was unfelt. 

It has been nine years.

At the exact moment

I thought I knew it,

I had really learned it.

It has been nine years, now.

At the exact moment

I learned about you,

I had you.

I had you, and

I heard you.

I heard you, and

I felt you.

I felt you, and

I knew you.

At the moment I knew I had you,

you weren't gone, you weren't silenced,

and you weren't unfelt.

You were with me all along.

-LJ

3 July 2018

(bonus phone poem)

he kisses him.

the rain captures him and pulls him under the covers of momentary bliss...

a sort of romantic departure, although bittersweet.

a mind too clouded by dense fogs and intoxicated by the unholy waters,

he becomes hysterical, wondering why he didn't say goodbye,

when he actually said goodnight.

-lj

sometime in april or may 2018

my mom cries ("phone poems" 3 of 3)

my mom cries

the cries of mothers,

and, full of emotion,

screams

how could this happen?

i realize

it's not just us

in our own tiny world.

it's all of us

on this green earth

turned gray.

-lj

21 june 2018